Heartbeat

Title: Heartbeat
Rating: G
Pairings: Tomapi (as usual from me ^_^)
Summary: Toma and Pi involved in an accident...
Disclaimer: Purely fiction. Toma and Pi does not belong to me unfortunately.. =.=


A well dressed man sat before the white-washed marble slab, silent and unmoving. But he wasn't sad, as how most people were when paying their last respects to their beloved one. He wore a smile on his face and his eyes only on the picture on the marble plaque. His thoughts transported back to his past where happier times reigned.

A pang of joy suddenly gripped his chest, and the young man broke into a bigger smile. He clutched his chest, and felt his heart beating.

*************************************************

(15 months ago)..

It all happened in the blink of an eye....

It was all in the headlines. The accident that Yamashita Tomohisa and Ikuta Toma, two of Johnny's talents, were involved in. The car they were traveling in had crashed into the divider and somehow flew to the opposite side of the road. Luckily there were no oncoming vehicles that night. But the damage had already been done. Although there were no eyewitnesses, but officers said that it was most likely that the car had skidded before crashing into the divider. The site of the wreckage was not pretty. The automobile was mangled and shattered glass was everywhere. Dried up blood stained the tarred road and brought looks of horror to those who saw it.

Both men had been found on scene by a pickup trucker around 4 in the morning. They were rushed to the nearest hospital, and by morning, all of Japan had found out about the news. For a while, the whole of Japan fell into silence. This had been the worst accident to date, where celebrities were involved. Hospital officers later released information that both men were in serious condition and every effort possible was being taken to save the two lives.

Almost all of Johnny's talents were at the hospital. All grim and silent while awaiting the latest condition of their friends. Faces ashen, they sat in groups. Hardly anyone made conversation. The most silent of all had to be the group sitting in the middle. NEWS, minus their leader. Koyama's face was in his hands, Nishikido Ryo was gripping both Kei and Massu so tightly. Tegoshi was huddled together with Shige, who looked like he was going to throw up. Nobody knew what to say or what to do. Only by lunchtime did Johnny Kitagawa himself send message and directed all to go back to work. No one could help in any way and doctors were frustrated by the crowd.

The remaining NEWS members were allowed to stay on with Toma's family and Yamashita's mother. All giving support and prayers in times like these..

*************************************************

Yamapi felt strangely light and dizzy. Everything was shrouded in a mist. His head felt so heavy and groggy and try as he wanted to, he could not open his eyes. He could hear weird beeping sounds and snatches of conversation around him, but he didn’t recognize those voices. He thought he heard his name called, but unconsciousness was beckoning again. He gave up fighting and slipped back into his dreams.

He saw a younger version of himself sulking in the corner, eyes downcast and feet kicking against the floor. He tried to recall when this was when out of the corner came Toma. Younger Toma with hair so black. The older boy walked up to his young self and looked at him for a while. Young Yamapi looked defiantly at the older one and wanted to stomp off. But Toma caught Pi in time and said something. Then he saw his younger self shouting and the two boys started fighting again.

He remembered now. Toma had lied to him and Pi had found out from Kamenashi. He was furious back then, but Toma had made up to him later. He had made Toma promise not to lie anymore, especially not to him.

“I never did lie again Pi…” a voice whispered in his heart.

His heart gave a small flutter and ached. Yamapi drifted of into the dark again…

************************************************

“You’ll have to decide quickly. Time isn’t on our side anymore.” The doctor gravely explained.

Toma’s mother broke down and cried. She can’t and could not do this. How can they make a decision like this? They did not even know how the accident happened, and now this?! It’s unfair! How can God expect them to decide in matters like this? Her heart broke again. Only tears poured out her grief.

************************************************

Her soft hands caressed the fragile handsome face now almost unrecognizable with tubes and bandages on it. His lean body now lay on the bed, lines running in and catheters draining out fluids from the body. Wires attached to his body and connected to a monitor, were the only means to know whether he was alive. Occasionally, the monitor will emit a beep.

Toma’s mother sat beside him not knowing what to do for her son. She felt helpless and angry at herself. His father, who could not bear to look at his son like this, was sitting outside the room, puffing on his 14th cigarette. Ryusei was standing in the corner, fists clenched, breathing shallow. All not knowing what to do.

Many tears have been shed, and yet sorrow and fear clutched at their hearts. Visitors and friends have came and all left with a heavy heart. Words of consolation trailed off every visitor, and yet none were convincing enough.

“Ikuta-san now has to rely on this ventilator to breathe for him as he cannot breathe on his own. The accident had caused extensive damage to his brain, crushing the left side of his skull, hence causing injuries and bleeding in the brain. Although the surgery had removed much of the clots and stopped the bleeding, but there is no guarantee that he will come out of this the same again. His right kidney also had to be removed because it was ruptured. The accident also claimed a third of his liver.” The chief surgeon had explained it all, and left with a note for them to pray. All that could be done was now done. His life now depends to the Almighty One above.

*************************************************

Somewhere deep inside, something stirred. He must wake up! It’s the only thing he can do. Although unconscious, he had heard what the doctor said. He heard a name being mentioned. He must wake up to that name. For that name..

Somehow, almost like an eternity, he found a pair of hands. He clung on to it. A gasp and a loud yell went through the room. Frantic calls for the doctor and yelling continues. He still held on to the hand.

Not much energy left, must hold on…..

And to his surprise, he found his voice. Soft, but determined. Too soft.

"Take…. it..” he whispers. A face came close, tears falling. The hand grabbed his.

A long pause.

“Let.. him have…it.” Another sentence.

He grips the hand tighter and this time musters all his strength.

“Onegai…shimazu…….. plea..se do….it f-for..me…. It..has always belonged…belonged to him……”

He lapsed back into the calming peace that coaxed him in.

************************************************

The morning sun shone bright and cheerfully through the blinds. Warm and strong light filtered into the room coming to rest on the thin body lying on the hospital bed. An eye opened.

Itai….

His eyes hurt after almost a month of not being used to light. He squeezed them shut again. A while later, he opened his eyes slowly and after a minute, his eyes refocused and things came into view. Paper cranes were dangling in the room and he could smell the scent of flowers. Freshly plucked flowers.

Yamashita Tomohisa turned his head to the side and his joints creaked. A shooting pain shot through his neck muscles and he grits his teeth tightly, swallowing the pain. He tried to push himself up from the bed only to have more pain shooting away in his whole body, like hundreds of needles going through him at once.

The pain blinded him and he slumped back onto the bed. He could hardly feel his legs and his body tingled with every new movement. He tried to yell, but nothing came out. His throat felt sore. After repeated tries, he managed to claim his voice back. He hated this. Whatever condition that he was stuck in, he loathed it…

At that moment, two nurses walked in the room, chatting away, not noticing that their long unconscious patient was awake. Suddenly, one nurse gasped and elbowed her friend. Her friend followed her gaze, shrieked and immediately ran out of the room.

Three hours later, after multiple assessments by doctors, a steady stream of visitors kept flowing into the room. His NEWS members were the first to arrive and Koyama kept kissing his face, leaving Yamapi very disgruntled. His mother laughed at their antics and kept wiping tears of joy away. Thank the heavens she said in her heart. Jin came to visit him with a big pack of udon and had wanted to feed him there and then. Had the nurse not confiscated the entire packet, Yamapi would have died a second time again.

That afternoon, many fans across the country and world rejoiced and breathed a sigh of relieve. Their golden boy was finally awake after a month of being in coma. Newspapers covered the news and it seemed like the world was smiling again.

Yet, Yamapi felt a small void in his heart. In the midst of the commotion, he suddenly remembered.

Where was Toma?

*************************************************

5 months later

Yamapi absentmindedly caressed the long scar on his chest while reading the newspaper. He was ready to go home today. The company had promised to fetch him by noon, and so he had the whole morning to himself. After breakfast, he went to the garden outside and sat on his favourite bench. He smiled at the nurses and some familiar faces.

He placed a hand over his heart, and closed his eyes. He could sense the heart beating gently against his own ribcage. A smile crept over his face as he leaned back against the bench.

Toma, we never will part again, will we?

For the first month, Yamashita had kept on crying. His heart ached so badly that he wanted to rip it out. Only thing was, he can’t. He hated Toma for making his own decisions. He hated Toma for lying. Toma knew how Yamapi hated lies, and yet, of all people, Toma had lied to him.

Why… He kept asking.

You said you’d never leave me. You promised me that! You said you’ll accompany me for the rest of my life, YOU said it yourself!! Damn you, Ikuta. Damn you, damn you, DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

And again a whole dam of pain will reopen and burst forth from his heart. The tears just won’t stop. He yelled and yelled till he was tired and hoarse. He was hysterical. His friends and most importantly, his mother, was worried that he would collapse. He refused to eat, he refused to go for rehabilitation, and he even refused his medication. Friends and family were at a lost. They had tried to break the news as gently as they could.

In the end, Toma’s mother was the one who told him. She had wanted to tell Yamapi herself. That was what Toma would have wanted.

“Tomo-chan, please calm down,” she had said.
“Toma could not make it through. He had fought hard and long, but in the end, the battle was too much.” Her voice broke and tears fell again.

“But even in the end, at the end of it all, Toma chose to give his life to you. His heart…to you.”
Toma’s mother had cried together with him.

“Toma said that his heart had belonged to you all the while. It was always yours, and so… he wants to return it to you.”

“Yamashita, please take good care of Toma. I leave him with you now,” she had said. They both hugged and Yamapi had never felt so much pain in his life ever.

His own heart was failing him back then. He needed a heart transplant urgently, but there wasn’t any for him. Toma on the other hand had a healthy heart, but was no longer with them. There was nothing the doctors could do to bring him back again. The brain injury was too much. He can never come back again.

And so, with Toma’s parents’ consent, they had Toma removed from all life support. And his heart was given to Yamapi.

*************************************************
A bird moved Yamapi out of his reverie. He looked up again into the photograph of Toma.

“You haven’t left me at all, have you Toma?” Yamashita smiles and continues talking to his friend.
“Hey, I’m really sorry for cursing you back then. You know… when I damned you for leaving me?...”
“Ha-ha… well, you haven’t left me at all, ne Toma?”
“Nothing will ever separate us again. This I know.”

A while later, Yamapi got up and bade farewell. And he heard a voice in him say,

“I never lied Pi, I never did lie again, did I?”

Chibi Tomapi - Short and sweet (literally)

Title: Chibi Tomapi - Short and sweet (literally)
Pairings: Tomapi
Note: Toma and Pi when they were chibi and cute. On friendship.
Disclaimer: Purely fiction. Nothing to do with Johnny's.

He dragged his heavy and tired body into the small apartment. It was a really lousy day because everything that could go wrong just went wrong and Toma was really down. He made it to the shower and just sat there, really depressed, and annoyed at himself. Funnily, the hostel was really quiet. No one seemed to be home, though somewhere he heard someone snoring. Today he wasn't the funny, cheerful Toma that everyone loved. He was just tried, and plain crappy.

So when Yamapi burst into his room later on, brimming energy and radiating like a sun, Toma nearly snapped at him, though it took all of his will-power not to.

"I'm tired Pi" Toma sighed. He couldn't sleep and his mind kept replaying the day's events, like a broken record. How cruel can life get, Toma mused.

Pi, having sensed Toma's brooding mood, immediately wiped away the silly grin on his face, and gingerly walked over to Toma's bed.

"Is everything ok?"

Toma grunted in response.

Silence.

Pi understood, and gently climbed into Toma's bed.

"Ne... You can lean on me, you know," Pi said out loud to the big lump of body beneath the covers that belonged to Toma.

Silence still.

Pi took a deep breath and continued. "You always act so strong and carefree. But if you get tired, you can lean on me."
Pi stared intently at the lump on the bed. Taking his silence as permission to go on, Pi gathered courage and removed the layers of linen covering his best friend. There, curled up with his knees to his chest, was a spiritless person in need of warmth and love.

Pi leaned down and looked Toma in the eye. Eyes filled with dejectedness looked back. Yamapi lay down on his side and held Toma tightly. He cradled the older one in his thin, 13 year old arms.

"You don't have to be strong everytime. It's okay to be weak sometime. I'll be strong for us both. You can lean on me... Anytime."

After some time, small Toma gave a soft nod in response. He finally fell asleep in the secure arms of a good and loved friend.

Toma's Valentine's Date

Title: Toma's Valentine's Date
Pairings: Tomapi
Disclaimer: Fiction only, and I don't own Johnny's, although I wish I owned Ryo, Toma and Kei-chan ^___^

A pair of stone-washed jeans flew through the air. Followed by 3 more shirts and a pair of black long pants with studs embedded onto it. Half the clothes in the young man's closet were now lying all over the place, covering the floor and occupying half the bed. And still he could not find anything to wear. It was getting frustrating! And only 3 more days to go before the big day arrives! He let out a sigh and sat precariously on the edge of the bed, surveying the mess he had created. A sigh escapes his soft lips.
“Now I’ll have to clean up this mess.. And still nothing to wear! What am I going to do???” he muttered.

As he was deep in thoughts, a message came through to his handphone. Glad for the distraction, he flipped it open and saw the sender. Eager to read his message, he clicked it excitedly.

3 more days! I’m counting the days, can you believe it?!
This is so not me...
See you then!!♥

“Yaa! Don’t remind me already that it’s 3 days away!” he shouted at the phone. Looking miserable again, he flopped down on his bed, crumpling all his clothes. He played with the ring attached to his necklace, twisting it and talking absently to it, “What will I wear hmm? Maybe I should just wear nothing. Give him a surprise..”
Then he snorted, “Yeah right.. Then everyone will stare at me like I’m some lunatic.”
“Haaiiizzzzzz…………” a sigh escaped again.
“I guess I have to shop.

************************************************

The date 14 on the calendar was decorated with tiny little red hearts. Every time his eyes flicked over to the calendar, his heart made a summersault. He felt energised by the thought of seeing his friend and knowing that they are going on a date together. Now that the day has arrived, he was even more excited. The present was bought and wrapped. His clothes (finally!) were picked out, and now he stood in front of his mirror, getting ready.

He made sure his hair was in all the right places. He scrutinized his handsome face and blew a kiss to his image. He caught sight of his body and a small frown broke the good-looking face.
Hmmm.. If only I had lovely arms like him….
Oh well, I’m not that bad looking too. I should score 4 out of 5!
And so, his mood was good again. He finished dressing, scooped up the gift and left his apartment.

Ikuta Toma was going on a date today.

************************************************

He sashayed into the small café. Scents of freshly baked muffins wafted out to greet him. Freshly brewed coffee was being poured into white little cups with hearts on them. In a little corner, he saw what he wanted to see. Another man with a dark blue beret over his hair. The face was impeccably good looking and the skin flawless. He was leaning against a cushioned chair, flipping through magazines. He had not noticed Toma. Toma walked over.

“Is this place taken?”

The other man looked up at the voice. His eyes widened with surprise, but a welcoming smile quickly graced his face.

“Toma!”

The younger man stood up to embrace his friend. He was so glad that they could take time out to meet here despite their busy schedule. But Valentine’s Day was a day where nothing else mattered, except your loved ones. And Yamapi was not going to let his Toma spend Valentine’s Day alone again, like the years before. This year, they will celebrate it together.

“You are on time” Pi greeted Toma.
“Nah..You’re the one who’s early. What time did you reach? I thought you slept late last night?”
“I had to wake up early for today, didn’t I? Besides, I was too excited to sleep anyway.” Pi smiled shyly at Toma. He continued, “So..where are we going today? You said it would be fun.”
“It will be fun. The day is planned out, so shall we start?” Toma held his hand out to Pi.
Yamashita nodded and gave Toma his hand. Both left the shop and started their anticipated day together under a bright blue sky.

************************************************

The beach was their first stop. Not many people were here, so they walked hand in hand, chasing waves and digging for shells. Like kids they were, running around and playing. Leaving behind their alter egos and worries and frolicking in the sun. Toma chased after a crab and Pi yelled at him for being silly (because the crab started running in Pi’s direction). Then the angry crab started running after Pi, to which Toma hooted with laughter because Pi was now trying to get away from it.

Even the sun seemed to be laughing at them, for he shone his rays merrily on the two golden boys who seemed oblivious to the world around them. They went for a swim and challenged each other to a race (which Yamapi won easily because Toma got distracted by a seagull..). They spent almost 3 hours on the beach before giving in to their hungry stomachs. Both men decided to eat at a nearby sushi restaurant. Toma ordered most of the food while Pi ate up almost everything. Which brought a smile to Toma’s lips.

************************************************
After filling their stomachs, they went for a short trip in their car. Talking and feeling the wind in their hair. With Toma driving, Pi blared the music and held Toma’s hand all the way. They shared a quick kiss and laughed about it. Yamashita saw the present Toma was supposed to give him and grabbed it from the back seat. Before Toma could even blink, Pi had already torn the wrapping paper and was gleefully unwrapping the gift. Oh yes, Toma protested, but it was too late. So he resorted to hitting the younger man on the arm (as gentle as possible of course….).

Toma had presented him another ring. However, this ring was much nicer. On the top, it was carved ‘Pi’, but on the inner part of the ring, it was skilfully carved ‘Toma♥Pi’. Yamashita immediately slipped his new ring on and wore a silly grin on his face for the rest of the day. And so it was that the day wore on. They found a Ferris wheel and both wanted to ride on it. So they did. They went shopping in a flea market and got identical bracelets each.

As dusk came, Toma brought Pi to their last destination of the day. They came to Johnny’s Studios in Tokyo. As Toma parked his car, Yamashita turned and looked at Toma. Confusion and curiosity etched onto his face.

“Why are we here?” he gestured at the building.
Turning to look at his beloved, Toma smiled and answered in a husky voice, “Trust me, you’ll like this.”

Getting out of the car, he pulled Yamashita along with him. The building was nearly empty, save for some staffs that had to finish up their work. They went in through the back door. Toma knew the building like the back of his hand. How many times had he roamed these corridors during his free time. He had grown here, along with Tomohisa and other friends. The building had watched them grow. He took the elevator to the 3rd floor and found the second door on the right.

“Toma” Pi whispered.
“It’s all right. No one will see us. And even if someone catches us, we can say we were just practicing.” He comforted the younger man.
Yamapi became even more confused, “Practicing??...”
“You’ll see”, Toma answered.

Both men stepped silently into the spacious studio. They could see their reflection on the mirror facing them. Toma’s eyes wide with excitement and Pi getting excited from curiosity. Toma walked over to the CD player, slipped in a disc, and walked towards Pi, remote control in hand.

“Do you remember Yokubou no Rain?”

Pi getting even more confused, “Yokubou no Rain?” he asked. “The Kinki Kids song?”
Toma took a step nearer to him, “Yes, the song. But, do you remember the steps to which we danced and sang to?”
“Tomo-chan, this is our stage now. All eyes are on us. We wanted to do more things together, so here we are now.”
Toma now stood behind Yamapi. Both their eyes met on the mirror. And a slow nod came from Pi.
“How can I ever forget? But I’m not an excellent dancer like you, so, can we practice the steps one more time?”
Toma nodded his head and grinned, “Sure! Yosh, let’s do this!”

And so they went through the steps one more time. Toma guiding the younger one on and off. Each reliving the moment of the past where they performed this song together. Each singing the part they were assigned to. Singing a song about unrequited love, pain, and loneliness. And when they finally got it right, Toma pressed the play button once again. So they danced, twirled, and moved along with the music. All moves correct and perfect this time. A happy moment for them both as they danced and sang for their audience in their minds. Performing together once again.

The song ended and they stopped. Sweat made the air now musty and damp. But yet they were not tired. Instead both men were surprisingly energetic. They caught each other’s eyes and broke out into laughter. Raucous peals of laughter, just like when they were young. They sat by the window and looked at the night view of the city. Lights everywhere made Tokyo beautiful. Soft shimmering lights and the sounds of cars honking brought the city to life.

Yamapi rested his head on Toma’s shoulders and hummed softly. He knows tomorrow will bring distance to them again with filming and rehearsals. So for now, he just wants Toma’s presence to calm him and renew him. How many times have he clung to Toma in times of need. He always has and will continue to do so. And Toma relishes his role as a mountain of strength in Pi’s life. To keep him secure and to help him always.

Toma lay his head down to the floor and closed his eyes. He had the best Valentine’s Day ever today and he wanted to keep every memory with him. As he smiled, Pi closed his lips down on the other man. Instinctively, Toma kissed back. It always ended with a kiss. It has to, doesn’t it?

Reunion Dinner, Johnny style!

Title: Reunion Dinner, Johnny Style
Pairings: Tomapi, and everyone who is together in Johnny. Big happy family!Summary: Reunion dinner with everyone. And some Tomapi love ^__^

"YOHHH!!!"
"So much food!"
"SUGOI!!!!!!"

Toma stares open mouthed at the food on the table. His eyes doesn't know where to stop, his hands doesn't know where to start.

It was a reunion dinner of sorts. Most of the Johnny boys he had grew up with were here. Senpais and kouhais all interacting together and enjoying themselves. And everyone was very loud... In one corner, Kamenashi Kazuya was stuffing prawns into Jin's mouth. Ryo was lauging so hard, he had to hold his stomach. Ueda was glaring at Ryo because he couldn't eat his food and most of all, he wanted to be Ryo's centre of attention...At the head of the table sat Takki, flaunted by Tsubasa on his right and Jimmy Mackey on his left who was talking with his mouth open, spitting food everywhere and not being apologetic. Matsumoto Jun was also there, sitting with other Arashi members. And of course, Yamashita was next to him, angry because Toma was late, as usual..
And currently, Toma was trying hard to ignore those flashing eyes, staring daggers at him. He averted his eyes towards the food that was on the table.

"Yo, Tegoshi! How's the food? I'm hungry!" Toma asked.
Tegoshi stuck a thumb up at Toma and grinned like the werecat from Alice in Wonderland.

And Yamapi had it. He grabbed Toma, and yanked his hands to make him sit.
"Don't IGNORE me!", Yamapi's chopsticks pointing at Toma. Ignoring Tegoshi's astonished looks, he ranted on, " I haven't seen you for so long, and now you're deliberately ignoring me? I am not taking that! You are an idiot, you know? Idiot!"

The table fell silent. Toma could feel all eyes on them as Pi's words rang out loud and clear. Even the waitress raised an eyebrow.

Oh-oh.. I better calm the tempest before the storm breaks.. Toma thought to himself.

And with that, Toma put on his best pout and biggest set of puppy eyes. Yosh, I'll give it my all..
"Pii... Don't be angry please? Ne??" *puppy eyes again*
"I was just teasing you...." *bigger puppy eyes and exaggerated pout this time*
"Gome-na-sai, Pi-chan" Toma said with a singsong voice and tugged at Yamashita's sleeves.

"Yo, Pi! Come on! Forgive your lover and all will be well" Tsubasa yelled and received a kiss from Takki-kun. "I can't eat with Toma acting all so mushy over there. It's so distracting!" and Takki mimics Toma's pouting face.

"Piiiii...." Toma adds, biting his lips this time for extra effect while giving him the I'm-so-cute-you-cannot-ignore-me-forever-look.
Yamapi's inner desire to torment Toma breaks at that look. He gives in and grunts, not wanting Toma to know that he has him around his finger.
I'm going soft over this guy.. Oh Lord... Yamapi lords in his head.

He grabs a fried broccoli and puts it on Toma's plate and pouts.
Toma throws his hands up in the air, gives a shout of delight, flashes the victory sign, and ruffles Yamashita's hair and hugging him at the same time.

The crowd goes wild again and everyone lapses back into a cheerful mood. Knowing that no one will notice, Toma plants a quick kiss on Yamapi's cheeks, and wriggles down to be next to him.

Yamashita Tomohisa cannot help, but smile at that.

A Day Out

Title: A Day Out
Pairings: Tomapi
Rating: G
Summary: Toma and Pi's day out together to a hot spring in Hanamaki, Iwate.

"Banzai!! Banzai!!"

Toma threw his hands up in the air and the wind caught his hair. The sun was shining merrily above them and the weather was perfect. Toma was laughing so happily that passengers in other vehicles were staring at them. Yamapi caught a glance at Toma and couldn't help but laugh too. How beautiful Toma's hair was dancing in the wind, how pretty Toma's features were, when caught by the light. The slightly crooked nose, those irresistible plump lips (so very kissable - Yamapi couldn't help thinking), and those bright warm shining eyes - now twinkling with laughter. And out of the blue, those very kissable lips came out from nowhere and plonked themselves on Yamapi's lips, disrupting Pi's thoughts.

"Oi!", Pi shouted, "I'm driving!! You are going to make me crash! Baka!!"

"Well, you were staring at me and not on the road. I was just giving you a gentle reminder to wake you up." Toma retorted cheekily, and blew a kiss towards Pi.

"Baka...Now I can't drive straight..." Pi muttered under his breath and said out loud to Toma "You should kiss me when we're stationary, not on the road. And besides, there are people watching us." (pouting).
"Daijoubu Pi. You worry too much. And besides, I don't hear anyone complaining ." Toma throws a wink at Pi. "Anyway, we're supposed to enjoy our trip, aren't we? It's not easy for me to get the same free day as you. So shut up and drive. Or I shall kiss you again. And it's not like I'm a horrible kisser. I'm a superb kisser, in fact! Even Shun said so. So good that we kissed 27 times! Even the both of us have not kissed 27 times" Toma chattered.

A slight pang of jealousy twinged Yamapi's heart. Pi chose to ignore Toma and stuck his tongue out at him. And so they drove. Along the highway, coming into hilly terrain where the city air exchanged into fresher country air and the view of the ocean was turned into one of green trees and old cottages. After almost 8 hours of driving, the pair finally arrived at their destination. What bliss, Toma thought. No longer were the hectic atmosphere and human infested environment present.

Here in Hanamaki, everything was calm and even the air seemed beckoning. They found the hot spring lodge and checked in.Half an hour later, both men were stripped down to almost nothing, except a towel around each other's waist. Toma swallowed a lump when he saw Pi's lean body. How the muscles beautifully curved around his torso, how the strong muscles in the arms, how the..

Toma! Stop staring!! He pulled away his eyes and bit his lips hard as he thought to himself.

"Oi, Pi. A warm hot spring awaits us. Are you going to walk there, or am I supposed to carry you?"
"I'm not an idiot, okay? I have legs that can happily walk me there. Only thing is, my butt is numb from all the driving. I drove most of the way, and you only drove for what... 2 hours? It's always unf...." His words were cut short as Toma pulled Pi in by the waist and kissed him warmly on the mouth. Yamapi's body, tensed from all the driving, finally relaxed as he found himself in Toma's arms.

"I love you." Toma whispered as they pulled apart. "And I'll drive home." Toma smiled gently at Pi and pulled Pi towards the hot spring.

The two spent the day relaxing and chatting in the spring. Laughter accompanied the couple as they talked and shared the events that happened while apart. They both agreed that the NEWS Winter Concert was a blast and they should do more together in the future. Toma talked about Voice and Yamapi said he can't wait to watch it. Toma laughed at Pi's wrinkled skin (from soaking too long in the hot spring), and Pi squirting Toma with water. It's quite an amusing scene to behold. As the dayretreated, they decided to have dinner in their room.

After dinner, Pi snuggled up to Toma on the bed and closed his eyes. Toma gazed at Pi. Watching how his chest moved with every breath. He carresed Pi's still damp hair and kissed his forehead. Toma closed his eyes and both men were silent. Chirping of the nocturnal insects gave the ending day a harmonious melody, every note sang in accordance to the orchestra of humming insects and birds. Each enjoying the company they had. Thankful for this small getaway they managed to squeeze in.

"Happy New Year, Toma"
"Happy New Year, Yamashita."... And after a while he added,
"Let's bring our love into the new year and step into the future together. May this year be ours to conquer."

And so, the two men drifted into slumber. Each weaving in and out of each own's dream, bodies snuggled up and keeping each other warm, hands entwined and fingers linked. A future entwined with merry days to come.

Letters

Title: Letters
Pairings: Ryopi/Toma
Rating: G
Note: I was feeling sad that Ryopi had more pics than Tomapi (or so it seemed to me) and hence wrote this. The song Insa(Greeting) by DBSK from the OST for Millionaire's First Love contributed to the sad atmosphere. 2nd fic of mine, so I hope I have improved, if not slightly. Happy reading!


How can it possibly hurt so much inside...

Yamashita,
How many years have passed between us, from the first time we met up till now that we are adults? I used to think that we’ll always grow up together, sing songs together, and walk down this journey through life with each other. How silly it was for me to think that you’ll always be by my side. Obviously it wasn’t meant to be.

Perhaps I can only blame fate that we are now apart and distanced. I never knew nor expected to fall for you. Remember us going on the roller-coaster ride together? When we were 13? You gripped my hand so hard, I thought it was going to break (laughs). Funny thing was, I think I fell for you then. You were so young, small and naïve. I wanted to protect you then. To be strong for you.

You left. You could not help it, I know. I understand. The pain of it is carved into my heart. You left me when we were young, and now you will once again leave me. My heart will bleed once more, and I don’t know how long it will take to heal. Perhaps, it never will. Strangely, I don’t want it to. This pain I will carry it with me, for I can’t bear to forget you, nor can I bear to push you out of my heart.

I’m not angry with you, nor am I angry with Ryo. How silly it is that I could not see the bond you shared with him. How silly it was that I kept denying what I saw. Truth is, I was jealous. I guess this is me. Selfish me that wanted you only for myself. Wanted you to stay with me.

This is my first and last letter to you. I don’t think I’ll write again. I’m sorry for the muddled contents. My mind is angry, confused, hurt and I think my heart is speaking louder than my head. I just wanted to wish you and Ryo all the best and I know you’ll always be cherished and loved. I’m sorry for not having more dear memories to take away with me. I’m sorry to have been selfish. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I’m sorry I can’t share your happiness. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can ever live without you.

Toma

(Toma was found struggling for his life in his apartment after inhaling too much gas. He died peacefully 2 days after hospitalization.)

Lost and Found

Title: Lost and Found
Author: Joyce
Rating: G
Pairing: Tomapi
Note: This is my first attempt at writing fics, so I'm sorry that this is horrible! I'm truly sorry! Hontoni gomenasai!

Why is it late? Please let me see him, please I pray. Just this once. I’ve waited so long. So long. Too long.

He strode up and down the waiting lobby. He was anxious, his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his ribcage. The airport clock says 12.58pm. Toma had been waiting for only half an hour, but to him time had stopped. He looked at the arrival board and saw that flight AKA 1315 from Hawaii had arrived.

His heart skipped a beat.

Where is he??! 5 years have passed, could it be that I can’t recognize him anymore? Or maybe he has forgotten me?
NO, I should not think that way! I know he still thinks of me. Ikuta Toma, stop thinking silly thoughts!

Although he had been separated from Yamashita for years, he knows, he always knew, that they would not be apart for long. No, he won’t let anything or anyone get in their way this time. He had to try. He must. For their sake, he must.

5 years ago, news of Toma and Yamapi’s relationship leaked like wildfire. Although none of them came out publicly about it, but there were enough rumours and pictures for Johnny-san himself to take notice. Things were getting out of hand, and many fans were displeased. They had thought it was all rumours, and hadn’t expected it to be real. The older generation were disgusted by their relationship. No, they could not accept homosexuality yet, not just yet.

Johnny Jimusho himself then took things into his hands and gave both of them an ultimatum. They had to go separate ways, or else risked being dropped from the company and paying back their contract. Toma knew they had to take it. He can’t allow Yamapi’s successful career to just wilt away and disappear. He had a band to lead and millions of fans to answer to, unlike him who back then hasn’t yet debuted. No, for Yamapi’s sake, he would have to separate from Yamapi.

Under Johnny’s orders, Yamashita will have to leave to further his studies in Business Management in Hawaii while Toma stayed back in Japan to further his career. Unbeknownst to Toma, Yamapi had begged Johnny to let Toma successfully debut if he were to leave for Hawaii. Only when Johnny had agreed, did Yamapi packed up and left. Both cried and broke down many many times during the first year. Toma missed Pi sorely despite having other friends surrounding him. Even his debut was a lonely affair without the younger one around.

It broke his heart knowing that they were apart. For the first time in his life, he was scared. He grew in fear of having to live life without Pi again. Johnny went to great lengths to make sure that the two of them never had the chance to meet. NEWS had a substitute leader in Nishikido Ryo and Toma was kept busy by his never ending schedule. He slowly found solitude in his work. Interviews after interviews. Photo shoot after photo shoot. Rehearsals, filming movies, butai performances, his album, vocal practice, all kept him busy and thus provided him a way to keep from thinking about Yamapi. Yet success was nothing without Pi with him.

But when he was alone, his thoughts went to Pi. Oh, how his heart ached and longed to talk to the man he had grown up with. How he longed to reach out and touch him. Memories flooded him. Memories of them small again, finding success, fame, stardom. Memories of them dancing and singing together. Memories… All were nothing but memories now. Why was life so cruel? How could life tear them apart, leaving big black holes in his life? What if he never saw Pi again?

Again and again he chided himself. Pi had to come back. His family was here, his friends were here. He belonged in Japan. NEWS would not be the same again without him and fans were sad. He was sad.

Then the years flew by quickly, and one day he heard. He heard and he knew that the time has come for them to meet again. Pi was coming back. It was safe again for him to come back. Any displeasure over their forbidden relationship had worn away. The soothing passage of time had seen to that and many seemed to have forgotten.

As he was deep in his thoughts, suddenly he felt a hand touch him.

He jumped and whirled around to find himself looking at a pair of eyes. Eyes so familiar, so full of the warmth he had grown to love. Eyes he knew where he was safe and never judged. Eyes that he had searched endlessly only to find himself falling deeper in again. Beautiful warm eyes with tears now glistening and dangerously on the verge of spilling over.

For a long time, he didn’t know how, they searched each other’s soul with their eyes. No words were necessary. And Toma broke. Emotions, anger, hurt, love, loneliness overwhelmed him, like a riverbank whose angry waters could not contain any longer.

He pulled Yamapi near and both held each other tight. Both crying over their separation, and yet rejoicing knowing that neither had changed. Crying for they can touch and love now. For now.

For now….