Thinking Too Much

Going house visiting with some relatively new friends got me thinking a lot. Oh well, me thinking unnecessary things isn't new as well. So I won't write much about it. Many things in life won't change just because I crack my head. And even if I got to choose once all over again, I probably won't change much of my choices.

Anyway, this is a lovely song by Lee Hom. Heartbeat. 心跳. Enjoy^_^

Red Cliff (Pt. 2)

Today I went to watch Red Cliff Part 2. About the movie, it was really great! As usual, Tony Leung and Takeshi Kaneshiro were both superb. I thought the supporting cast was great too! Some of them were really scene stealers! Especially during the fighting scenes

But watching that movie really made me ask questions. Questions like, is war really worth it when millions of lives are sacrificed? What does the winner get/achieve in the end after so many lives are killed? Half an army annihilated fro what purpose/greatness?

In the end, when the war has ended, Tony Leung's character had this to say:
"Today, everyone loses."

I really agree with him. Both their armies suffered great losses and yet, nothing was gained. It was a sad moment. Families were torn apart and many will never get to see their loved ones forever.

It is scary to think that war is raging in some parts of the world now. To know that people (innocent people) are dying everyday, children are starving, and families are torn apart.

Sigh... What a depressing subject.
Anyway, on a brighter note, I painted my toes red today, and boy are they HOT! Smokin' if I would say.. But, really. Red Cliff 2 is really a great anti-war movie. I think the message is clear and the acting is great. Anyhow, watch it for Takeshi Kaneshiro if nothing else! He's hot hot hot! And funny too!
Baby!!!

Nostalgic 90s

Recently found myself missing the nineties. It was an interesting time back then. There was the economic meltdown, the chipmunks, transformers cartoon, thunderbirds (goodness, anyone care to remember??), the Hong Kong-China handover, the infamous David Beckham red card event, George Soros and Malaysia (scary times..), rollerblades, and the music.
I miss the music scene back then. Boybands dominated the scene mostly with BSB leading the pack and the emergence of other bands like The Moffatts, Hanson, 911, 98 Degrees, Simply Red, Boyzone, Boys II Men. Girls too had girl power from TLC, Eternal, Mariah Carey (I used to admire her songs and her ooh-lala vocals), Whitney Houston, and the mother of them all, Celine Dion (Titanic!). Also not forgetting the (un)forgettable Spice Girls, and *GASP*, Cher!
So, I find myself now searching and downloading songs from this wonderful era! Yes, I am now listening to Bodyshakin' from 911, MmmBop from Hansons, Butterfly from Mariah and etc etc etc. Shamelessly! :p But to me, it was really a great time. Anyone missing the 90's too??
So here I have the cheesiest song from 911: Bodyshakin'!! Yee-har! Dare I say, enjoy?? :pppp

Aargghhh!!!

Why does there seem to be so much sadness at the begining of the year? Another of my patient has passed away! Yesterday night at 2am! Sigh.... I just sent her back home and thought she was going to live another year or so.. Fine, maybe her prognosis isn't so good after all, but she was still fine when she went back 3 days ago!

Aargh... Now I'm starting to grow depressed. I should shut up. And my friend is leaving! Why is everyone leaving??? Fine. Whatever "lah"!

Cheers people.

Times like these..

My patient passed away yesterday. No pain, no blood, no struggles. Just died peacefully and finally released from his suffering. No longer has he got to feel the pain of the daily dressings to his multiple ulcers, no longer has he got to endure the pricks from setting IV lines every 3-4 days. It was sad, but having witnessed so many deaths, I'm sad (and sorry) to say that I don't really feel sad. I empathize, yes, but do we cry? I guess I can't.

But this is not what I have come to write about today. It just struck me that not many of us will have the chance to see a person die in front of us. Literally. Not dropping dead dramatically, but slowly decrease in breathing, blood pressure falling slowly, not responding anymore, and closing the eyes, and then the heart just stops. No more beating, no more pumping.

If you have, then you will realize that you can sense when the person is leaving. I can't explain it. You just know that something is amiss. Perhaps it's the colour of the patient or his lack of responsiveness (but how about comatose people?), but you just know it when you've been with the person long enough. You will know when it's time. Yesterday when I clocked in for duty, the night nurses said that it wasn't time yet, even though his blood pressure dropped to 60-some. We just now that the patient is not going to pass away yet.
But around 1pm yesterday, even though the Oxygen level in his body was only 85% (the normal is supposed to be >90%), I think I sensed something.

That he was ready to leave.

You may find it stupid that I think it is a great.. I forgot the word....
How do you say it? I think it is a great "chance/opportunity" (whatever word is supposed to go here..) to be able to send people off. Put it simply, I think not many people will have the chance to help a patient die. And I'm thankful for the moments I can spend with the deceased. It is really humbling to watch a patient die. To know that his/her journey this life has ended and now they are ready for a great adventure somewhere else (to quote Dumbledore..), and to know that a greater force than we ourselves exist, and is in power (regaredless of what religion you believe in).

I'm not depressed, just humbled and thankful for the moments I have right now. It is indeed true when they say "Live the Moment". Live "now" we'll all have a great journey in life. Thank you Lord, for that dying patient has touched my life.